In the standard definition, a father is someone who is there to support his children. Most fathers nowadays don’t have a strong identity of who they are, so this support has become something given solely on a physical level, and there's no guidance for the children on how to become a higher version of themselves.
Fathers may instill good character traits in their children, teaching them about discipline, hard work, honesty and how to treat people kindly - and this is fantastic, we should all have good character. Most of the time though, this teaching is on the surface - it’s just psychology or a belief system.
In many cultures men may feel lost but believe that if they are a disciplinarian, or provide financially (whether they are physically there or not), then they are displaying ideal traits of a father, but they aren't in touch with their real selves, which is what kids are looking for.
In the XI definition, the ultimate father has a strong connection with his Spirit or timeless self and knows who he is at a much deeper level. This allows his children and even his partner to become a strong identity of who they are.
Kids are looking for fathers as a support mechanism, but as I mentioned, for many individuals that support has degraded into something physical. The father is somebody that's there when their car needs fixing, when they need money, somebody they can call if they’re in trouble. And that’s all great, but what if you were there, at a deeper level, with a strong connection between your time bound and your timeless self? That is the security that kids need when they’re growing up. It’s the security that your spouse needs. They need to know that the man, the father, is secure in space and time. He’s present and he’s resonating with precision in the fourth dimension.
If you're operating from that oneness, the solutions you provide for your kids come from a different place. Whether you’re solving a problem, creating something or just simply hanging out with your kids; when you’re in that singular state, it’s the best gift you can give them, or anyone else for that matter. Now when they see you, they not only get the good work ethics, honesty and all those admirable qualities, but it also allows them to create a strong identity within themselves. This is the cornerstone of a successful life on all levels.
Even if kids learn success mechanisms from their parents and they do become successful in a physical sense; without that inner connection they still feel empty and broken on the inside. So it's not the physical actions that dictates becoming that ultimate father. It's not about playing baseball and all that stuff that we do. Of course that's necessary, but it’s only really beneficial for the kids if you have that deeper connection with yourself first.
I have six beautiful kids and everyone who meets them comments on how amazing they are. This didn’t just happen by chance. It's because there's an integrity between my time bound and timeless self. Sure, I had my NDE’s, but I also went through a lot of difficulties -divorce, bankruptcy, debilitating illnesses. Many fathers have experienced these things, but the difference is that I learned from those challenges and used them as an opportunity to let go of the bullshit that was getting in the way of the connection with my timeless self, and that's where the integration happened.
One way to tell that you're that ultimate father is when your kids want to spend time with you. For example, my kids always invite me to do things with them and their friends. We play volleyball, go motorcycling, car racing, and I go shopping with my younger girls. The key is that they just want to be around you- not because they're lost and disconnected, but because you're providing them with the best gift that you could ever give them- timelessness. If you’re a singular being, your kids will want to hang out with you even through their teen years.
The only way to be the ultimate father is to operate from that singularity and to have an integration between your time bound and timeless self. You know who you are at such a deep level and you’re so solid that you can’t be shaken, you can’t be destroyed, no matter what happens.
This is exactly what XI teaches you to do- it brings you back to your natural state of being. It can help you to become the ultimate father, the ultimate human being, and to live as the best possible version of yourself.