You've changed, you've changed a lot. You've become more solid, and then you go back to the family and you're disoriented, distorted, even pissed off–and back to your old self.
Why does that happen? How can you stay solid? How could you turn that experience around, and enhance or even catapult yourself into higher states of possibilities?
Simply put, think of yourself as a new blossom. You're sticking your head out of the ground and your new identity, your new sense of self is starting to show. Then you go back to the family and they trample all over that blossom; it doesn't have a chance to become stable and it dies. But say that blossom turned into a strong oak tree–then there's no way they can stomp you out. How do you turn from a blossom into a confident tree that nobody can trample–Spatial Referencing.
(Link to Handle Holiday Stress with Confidence XI Podcast)
You’ve moved out of your family home, say when you were 20 years old, now you go back and what does your family do? They treat you as a 20 year old. They push you back into a reality that they're comfortable with, not what you’re comfortable with. Whether they do it with ulterior motives or out of love, that doesn't matter.
Something will always happen that forces you to go back into some of your old patterns. The reason why is that it’s giving you the opportunity to confirm the changes that you've made–confirm your deletions. See and experience all the things that you have evolved from. So you'll go back and see family and friends and you won't want to be any part of it. Well, that used to be you. They haven't changed, they’ve stayed the same, and you've elevated yourself. So, you're looking at them from a different level. It’s like looking at a maze; when you're in the maze, you can't see where you're going, right? They can't see where they're going. But you've elevated yourself to a higher level, so you see the dead ends and hazards of that maze that still holds your family and friends. You see all the patterns and dysfunctions, and distortions and all those things that were you at one time, but aren't now. You’ve separated yourself and you now understand why they hold on to those patterns at a deep level.
You don't allow all that family garbage to pour onto you, so when you home for the holidays it’s a fantastic opportunity to rid yourself of deep family patterns. When you go back and revisit your old paradigm, your old life, you see it clearly, so you can choose to delete these patterns and solidify who you are.
As you get pulled back, it creates tension, like a catapult. And that's what you want. As that tension gets created, it catapults you into your higher version of who you are and away from who you're not anymore.
To learn more about how Spatial Referencing can help you stay strong and solid during the holidays, and use the opportunity to confirm your deletions, listen to the Handle Holiday Stress with Confidence.